Let’s face it, nobody wants to have the conversation. The one where you try to convince your elderly parents — the people who raised you from childhood — to be open to receiving qualified care when it is most needed. The idea that they may have to move into a senior living facility doesn’t make things easier either.
However, aging is an inevitability and there may come a time when you can no longer put off having that dreaded talk. As an adult child, it can be particularly hard to watch your parents enter a stage in life where they face various challenges and limitations brought on by their advancing years.
Nevertheless, if it’s the right choice for them to accept professional help and quality caregiving, here’s how you can go about it:
Obviously for something so serious and important, you need to take some time to do the necessary prep work. Start by doing some research on the senior care options that are available and capable of providing the right kind of care to your elderly parents.
What are the options available based on their unique needs and lifestyle requirements? List out the pros and cons of each option so you can narrow down the list even further. If you’ve got siblings, bring them into the discussion as well and hear out their opinions on the matter.
It’s possible that your parents have already thought about the matter and may therefore have better ideas than you on what option suits them best. As such, remember to maintain an open mind during the conversation.
Remember, this is to be a conversation — two-way communicating. Take the time to actually listen to what they want. If there are any objections or anxieties about the change, make sure to understand why. This way, you’re able to counter their arguments and provide reassurance that this is indeed the right course of action.
Introducing the subject of care with your loved one can be difficult. There are some things to consider before bringing it up.
Firstly, this type of conversation is best held in person, rather than over a video or phone call. Make sure you’re all seated comfortably and that there are no distractions. Remember to maintain the right tone and attitude too.
Talk to your elderly parents like the adults that they are, even if they are facing memory loss or any other degenerative ailment. Recognize that they have the right to have a say in how their future is being planned.
Slowly and clearly, explain why you would like them to consider the possibility of an assisted lifestyle based on their current conditions. You want them to understand what you’re saying and why you arrived at such a conclusion.
Be reassuring but in a genuine manner. Be patient with how the conversation goes and don’t interrupt them when they give you their response or get confrontational if they initially resist the idea. That will only make the conversation more difficult.
The personalized, high-quality care and assistance provided by modern senior living communities can have a truly positive impact on your elderly parent’s life. It can empower them to be active, preserve their independence, and pursue new interests.
Today’s senior living facilities are equipped with state of the art amenities and run by trained, qualified staff. Many of these communities are akin to vacation getaways, complete with catered services, on-site medical facilities, tons of health and wellness programs, as well as 24/7 support.
As the child or loved one of a senior adult, it will bring you peace of mind to know that there will always be someone standing by to provide any necessary assistance and care.
Discuss with your family how, as time passes, your elderly parents will eventually need more help than you or anyone in your family can provide. Assure your elderly parents that just because you refuse to be the primary caregiver does not mean you are severing your family ties. Assure them that relinquishing the role as primary caregiver does not mean abandoning your role as their children.
Due to the important decisions that have to be made, you may need to have this conversation more than once. Make sure your elderly parent is involved every step of the way and let them know that they’re in control of the situation.
If you need to follow up, do so in a gentle, reassuring manner. Always focus the conversation on how such a change would benefit them. Some people find that introducing the idea of a trial period can be an effective approach to get their elderly parents to be more receptive.